Saturday, January 4, 2014

Hear Me Roar

Have you heard Katy Perry's song "Roar?" If not, I want you to listen to it. And I mean, really listen to it.

Katy Perry-Roar

My sweet Nanny always gives the best gifts. What could be better than an Amazon gift card, right? I had no idea what I wanted this year, but there were 3 KP songs that I just loved. My CD came in Thursday afternoon. I couldn't wait for my ride to work Friday morning to be able to listen to it. Little did I know what would happen in less than 12 hours. I know that some of you know that Chris and I are going to a reproductive endocrinologist because of issues I have with getting pregnant. I was supposed to take a test this coming Monday, but needless to say, that is no longer necessary. As I walked to the garage yesterday for work,my walk was not the happy one I thought it was going to be. Instead it was filled with me fighting tears and praying to God to give me strength to get me through the day and still be a great nurse to my patients.

The first song on the CD just happens to be "Roar." This is where God stepped in. Thank you, Father, for reminding me how beautiful Your promises are! With every storm you face, satan tries to come in and lie to you, and he knows exactly what to say to punch you in the stomach, make you hide away from the world, steal your joy, take your hope, but it is ALL A LIE!

You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up (HEY!)
Get ready 'cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
'Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
You’re gonna hear me roar

I am finished being silent. Satan is going to hear me roar. My God loves me so much, and He knows how much of a camel I am that He showed me something. I haven't share this with many people, but I'm going to.

Chris and I met with Dr. Harper June 27th for our consultation. At this point, I was lifting a little weight (more body weight stuff than anything) and I was running really well again. I was told that I was no longer able to do that anymore. Basically all I could do was walk and swim. Test #1 from God, and I've made it. So, to get to my point...go ahead and get your tissues...A beautiful morning in July, I was walking the neighborhood and something incredible happened. God gave me my first ever vision. I was looking through my eyes and I was immediately on 5th floor at Decatur General surrounded by my old Women and Children co-workers. I didn't see a lot of faces, but I did see one- Chris N, our LPN, who had told me later that she had a dream about me that I'll share later. Chris N came up and I saw her touch my pregnant belly. After that I just saw hands keep coming up and touching my abdomen and I could feel love and joy. When the vision ended and I was looking back at the house at the end of the road, I was crying and in shock. I called my precious husband and immediately explained everything and asked how I knew the difference between a vision and me just wanting something so badly that I made myself see it. It was backed up in the Word.

Weeks after this dream, Chris N came to work and told me that she had had a dream about me. She was holding my firstborn, a daughter. Now it gets better, 2 weeks ago she came to me with another dream about me- boy/girl twins. So for all that follow me on Pinterest and saw all of those pins, this is why.

I don't blame God for this and I'm not mad at Him. That doesn't mean that sometimes I don't stomp my foot because I don't understand, because I do, but I don't think that I would have all of this happen if He wasn't trying to comfort me and show me His love and promise for me. I cannot wait to share with you all that we're parents, and I know deep down that it's coming. Not by adopting or fostering, but my having a child(ren) grow inside me, and I can't tell you how excited I am for my new home (Labor and Delivery) to be there with Chris and me the day for them to come into the world.

Whatever you're facing, I know that God has GREAT, incredible, wonderful, tremendous plans for you. He turns the most awful things into something beautiful. The storms that we face make us stronger each and every day. They help us to deepen our roots into His word and truth. I love you all very much, and I can't wait to hear you ROAR!